Hey, it’s Matt with The Addiction Newsletter.

Here’s what’s inside today:

Let’s get started.

If you want some extra accountability from me, feel free to reply this newsletter with how many days it has been.

I read every single reply and do my best to reply to them. I am always here for you.

(Example: “Hey Matt, it’s been 33 days since I have used X”)

Days Since Last Use: 348

Thought: Recovery is not a single moment. It’s a hundred quiet choices. Getting out of bed when you don’t want to. Saying no when your mind says yes. Letting a craving pass without giving it power. Each moment builds on the last until one day you realize you’ve built a life again. Not a perfect one, but one that’s real.

In the beginning, it grew beautifully. You watered it every day. You gave it attention, time, care. It rewarded you with calm and color and something that felt like peace. Every leaf seemed to hum with life. You told yourself, This makes me whole.

But slowly, the garden began to change. You didn’t notice it right away. The flowers still bloomed, the air still smelled sweet, but something underneath started to fade. The soil grew tired. The colors dulled. The beauty that once felt alive began to feel forced.

You told yourself it was fine. That you only needed to tend it more. You gave it more time, more thought, more of yourself. But the more you fed it, the weaker it became. You could not understand why. You were giving it everything.

That is the trick, Alan Carr says. Addiction convinces you that effort is loyalty. It makes you believe that if you give it enough attention, it will reward you again. But the truth is that this garden has forgotten the sun. It survives only because you keep watering it. It cannot bloom on its own.

The peace you thought it gave was not growth. It was maintenance. You were keeping something alive that no longer belonged in your life.

One day you stop and notice how dry the soil feels. How the leaves crumble when you touch them. You realize this isn’t life anymore. It’s habit. You step back for the first time in years and see how small it’s become, how much of your world it has taken up. You ask yourself quietly, What would happen if I stopped watering it?

At first, the silence feels unbearable. The space looks empty. You miss the ritual, the care, the illusion of control. But then, something changes. The sunlight touches the earth again. The air begins to move. You notice tiny green shoots in the corners you forgot existed. Life returns, not from the old garden, but from the space the old one left behind.

Carr says freedom does not come from killing what you once cared for. It comes from understanding that it no longer serves you. You do not need to burn the garden. You simply stop feeding it. You let it rest. You let the earth breathe.

New life will grow in time. Wild, unpredictable, unplanned. It will not need your constant attention to survive. It will grow because that is what life does when you let it.

The old garden will still whisper sometimes. It will remind you of its comfort, its scent, the feeling it once gave. But you will look at the new one—the one that breathes, that changes, that lives—and know you chose right.

The sun never left you. You just forgot to look up.

And now, your world is full of light again.

For so long, peace felt uncomfortable. It was easier to run, to reach, to stay busy. The quiet felt too loud, too honest. But one day, you sit in it long enough, and something shifts. The calm that once scared you starts to feel like home. You realize you were never afraid of peace, you were afraid of meeting yourself without the noise.

Here is the win of the day for one of our readers. I will keep most of the information anonymous:

"I forgave myself for wasting time. For all the relapses, the apologies, the starting over. I finally saw that none of it was wasted, it was learning. Every failed attempt was proof I hadn’t given up. And today, that feels like strength."

(Note: If you have a win, no matter how large or how small, reply to this email and I’ll include it in the future.)

I refer thousands of people every month to detox and treatment centers across the United States. Depending on if you have insurance and what type, a lot of the time you can get treatment completely free. If not, it does cost money unfortunately.

If you’d like to use this free service, click below.

(Click here)

Disclaimer

This newsletter is for educational and motivational purposes only. It is not medical advice or a substitute for professional treatment. If you’re in crisis or need immediate help, please contact your local emergency services or the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)